How to spice up your internal monologue

I love how the language and cadence of a book gets into my head and stays there for a while after I've finished the book.

My internal monologue, now, goes like this:

"Ya fuckin' bampot"
"Cannay believe it"
"Aye, nay bother, nay bother."

I don't even know what a bampot is, but there you go.

I think a book like Kelman's How Late It Was, How Late could be read in conjunction with something like Pride and Prejudice, and you could get some really bizarre internal monologues going on.

Other potentially creative author pairings to spice up your inner voices:

• Ian McEwan (spare, introspective) and Diana Gabaldon (sensual, wordy)
• Neil Gaiman (modern fantasy/fairy tale) and Jon Krakauer (investigative journalism)
• Alice Hoffman (modern feminist fairy tale) and Mark Twain (humorous regionalism)
• Jane Austen would go with just about anyone

What, you don't hear inner voices? Ya fuckin' bampot!