This is our first Christmas at home. Let's celebrate with some white, middle-class, married-no-kids observations of the season...
The Postal Dilemma
I went out to give the postman a bottle of whisky in a nice festive gift bag, and when the van stopped, it wasn't our regular postman, it was the OTHER one! I awkwardly asked when our regular postie was going to be back and took the bottle back inside feeling rather sheepish. Where is Miss Manners when I need her!?
The In-Laws
The in-laws are coming up to ours this year, and I've got a dilemma with the towels. If I give them both a hand towel and a bath towel each, it is guaranteed that some of them will use the hand towel to dry off with after bathing, and not use the bath towel at all.
To put a stop to this ridiculous spartan behaviour, should I just give them all bath towels, and put the hand towels in the bathroom? Or should I go ahead and give them each two towels and just let them dry off with a tiny towel if they want to?
The Newest Addition to the Family
The new addition to the family - the wood burning stove - is our pride and joy. The only probem is that our domestic conversations have turned into a continuous discourse on the state of the fire wood -- Is it dry? Is it stacked and split? Is it out of the rain? Is it going mouldy in the shed? Is there enough? Far be it from me to complain, since I love a nice wood fire.
However, for the sake of variety it might be nice to introduce a new topic -- the laundry, for instance. Is it dry? Is it stacked and folded? Is it out of the rain? Is it going stale in the back bedroom? Is there more to do?
The Cake
Christmas cake is supposed to be made several months in advance, and fed with brandy every week until it turns into a squidgy, solid black mass of fermented fruit. Then you wrap it in a blanket of marzipan and put a polar bear and some holly on top, and eat it with cheese after Christmas dinner. The only problem is, I've just baked ours and Christmas is in two days' time.
The question for you is, should I liberally bathe it in whisky or brandy and hope it holds together? Or I should I stick with the conservative "brushing" with the booze? Is there any way to "age" it a bit? What if I microwaved it?
The Presents
It has been proposed by several parties separately that we "don't bother about presents this year". I heartily agree. Let's not do presents. However, I wouldn't want to deprive you of the pleasure of getting me a gift. Not at all. I know how much you enjoy giving gifts at Christmas.
In fact, I bet you've already bought me one. A big one. I hope you don't mind if I haven't got you anything...
Merry Christmas from the Middle of the Woods! A very Happy New Year to all.
Resolutions to follow...
Marieke
Re: towels for the in-laws
ReplyDeleteI don't know the drying-off habits of your in-laws, but I am well acquainted with those of one of Andy's in-laws that I know intimately. Said in-law generally uses only the bath towel, most especially when towel rod space is at a premium (i.e. more than one person sharing the bath.) So skip the hand towels. Said aforementioned in-law seldom (rarely) uses a washcloth, except when soaking in a tub when it serves as an ersatz steam bath for the face, but your in-laws' habits may differ.
Re: Postal dilemma
"Oh, I was just getting ready to add some whisky to the Christmas cake when I saw your van pull up. Funny, innit, how liquor comes in festive wraps during the holidays? Thanks awfully for the post. do you know when the regular postie comes 'round? Happy Christmas!"
Re: mince tarts
Did you use a regular pie crust for the tarts, or did you tart it up with some sugar and maybe orange zest? Or maybe a shorter dough (more butter)? They look yummy!
Re: Christmas gifts
Look for a nice greeting card that I sent by post.
--Papa
Thanks, Papa. Your postie comment still doesn't explain the gift bag and the card and the fact that I was standing there in the rain with my umbrella by the side of the road... Oh well!
DeleteRE: Christmas cake - Pour on the brandy (or beverage of choice) just moist and then once again the next day. That should be sufficient. If you think it might not be soaking in quickly or evenly, you can make tiny holes with a skewer so that the brandy penetrates better. It will be delicious.
ReplyDeleteRe: Postie - you might have said you were waiting for a friend and had he seen a yellow Hummer recently on the lane? and by the way, when's the regular postie back from hols?
Re: cards - thanks for the zebra, and cranes are flying back your way.
Happy Christmas to all and a happy new year as well.
Love it all. Happy New Year to you! Would love to read the follow-up.
ReplyDelete