Job hunt goes... bizarre

I love posting little excerpts from our local news here on a regular basis -- there are always a few gems of small-town weirdness, things that you wouldn't think a self-respecting newspaper would report on.

Tesco 'not sinking' is still one of my favorites and Dunbeg goes to war on rat packs is one of the weirdest/funniest articles I've found.

If you want to glance over the collection, you can find them filed under Local news.

I've recently come across some really bizarre jobs in my ongoing job search, so I can't resist sharing a few of them with you. These are real jobs. I'm not making this up.

Unfortunately, I won't be applying for any of them -- I just don't seem to have the right qualifications...


Co-ordinating Editor for the Online Egyptological Bibliography (OEB)

You will oversee the incorporation of the large amounts of reference material into the OEB and develop the database. Applicants must hold, or have made substantial progress towards, a doctorate in Egyptology or a closely related subject; have a broad knowledge of the principal areas of Egyptology, including competence in ancient Egyptian language; be able to demonstrate their ability to work with academic literature in several modern languages; and have familiarity and sympathy with the use and implementation of online database systems for research purposes.

Assistant Editor at the Dictionary of Medieval Latin

Duties include reading and excerpting of texts for new quotations, searching electronic databases and microfiche concordances, verifying existing quotations, defining meanings, drafting entries for lemmata, and proofreading. Applicants must be qualified to doctoral level or equivalent, and competent in Classical Latin.

Editor of Sailing Directions

Produce safe, accurate, clear, comprehensive, timely and up-to-date volumes of Sailing Directions for the use of mariners. You must: hold MCA Class 1 (Deck) Certificate of Competence or have held the rank of Lieutenant-Commander (X) in the Royal Navy, have wide experience of navigation and shipping in different parts of the world, a good standard of written English, ability to distinguish navigationally important information from the large amount of data presented, ability to deal methodically with information and keep records of those actions.

CPCS 360 RUBBER DUCK OPERATOR

This vacancy is being advertised on behalf of --- who are operating as an employment business. Must have CPCS Ticket for Rubber Duck. Duties will be driving the machine onsite. This could be long term for the right person.

WARFARE SPEC SENSORS (SUBMARINER) RN

You will be required to join the Royal Navy. As a Warfare Specialist Sensors (Submariner) you are a central member of the Warfare branch, you'll be responsible for working out exactly where the enemy is, without giving away your submarine's position.

You'll be trained to use highly-advanced active and passive sonar systems to detect other submarines and ships, giving your officers the information they need to make vital decisions. Keeping your submarine safe and undetected, whether you're on routine surveillance or going into action, puts you right at the heart of the tight-knit team on board one of our most formidable fighting machines. No specific qualifications are needed for this job.

Needless to say, I'm still looking...